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Your home is a TEMPLE, and we want to be the high priests.

Archive for February, 2011

The Coast is Clear!

Monday, February 28th, 2011

Hollywood sign.

Everybody comes to Hollywood, They wanna make it in the neighborhood, They like the smell of it in Hollywood, How could it hurt you when it looks so good?

Since John and I are bopping about La-La Land, we thought, “Let’s write a post about the LA vibe that we have encountered running around Hollywood tonight.”

Jason downed his glass of Domaines Ott and chirped up: “Hmm, high culture? Er, not really apropos.”

“Glamour,” suggested John, but then caught himself. “We already did that yesterday with ole Gwynnie and her Harlow-esque get-up.”

“How about how plastic,” proposed Jason. “Everyone seems to be either a walking Barbie doll in sky-high stilettos and boobs like melons-on-smack or slacker scruffy.”

John pondered: “Brilliant, Jason! Let’s tackle the walking-talking-shockingly-short-hem-lined Barbies and nod to their enhancements, ahem, but let’s give the post a unique John Loecke Inc. spin and throw in some glam and some high culture, too, to bring our NYC sensibility into the mix.”

So today’s topic is LUCITE (no, it’s not silicone implants, you dirty gerties!).

FACTOID pilfered from Wikipedia: Lucite was developed in 1928 in various laboratories, and was first brought to market in 1933 by Rohm and Haas Company under the trademark name Plexiglas. It has since been sold under many different names including Lucite and Perspex.

How’s that for distilling down LA into a little electric Barbarella plastic ecstatic, and you just learned a little something, too, bobbleheads!

As Andy Warhol once said, “I love Los Angeles. I love Hollywood. They’re beautiful. Everybody’s plastic, but I love plastic. I want to be plastic.”

So Vine Street, this blog post is for you! Be plastic. And just a little fantastic.

A fabulous faux bamboo chair.

We love the faux qualities of this glam Lucite chair: It's faux bamboo, for instance, crafted of clear plastic.

How about a delicious Lucite faux bamboo party chair, like this delicious number available at Perch for $275?

An Oly side table.

Sip a cocktail then perch it upon Oly's divine Lorna side table.

And we are crazy for Oly’s Lorna side table, perfect for holding a martini (glamour!).

CB2 Lucite tray.

Get a grip with CB2's cheap-and-chic Format tray. P.S. There's an In-N-Out Burger on Sunset Boulevard just east of La Brea.

You certainly can’t beat the price ($34.95) on CB2′s Format tray, perfect for serving an In-N-Out burger in style.

Jonathan Adler lamp.

Get your glow on with Jonathan Adler's Bond Lucite lamp.

Or Jonathan Adler’s Bond Lucite lamp. It’s worth every penny of the $695 sticker price.



Oscars Worthy!

Sunday, February 27th, 2011

So she's a little milque toast in our book, but we loved Gwyneth's shimmering Calvin Klein Oscars gown.

We aren’t big watchers of the Oscars, never have been. We actually tend to watch the Super Bowl more frequently, if you can imagine. And you know that we know contact sports like we know NASCAR, we are just saying…

But we are in LA tonight, so in honor of dear old Oscar we thought: “Wouldn’t it be fun to turn a great Oscars dress into a room in your own home?”

We picked Gwyneth Paltrow’s gold columnar Calvin Klein dress as our inspiration. Not that we are huge GP fans–we much prefer Cate Blanchett and Julianne Moore–but we did love the shimmering simplicity of this gown. So Jean Harlow. And we loved the geometric cut-out at the neck that added a modern spin to the peplos-style sheath. And we even like the Louis Vuitton brooch that she wore at her waist to accessorize this classic Hollywood gown.

So from our West Coast home base at the boho-chic The Redbury hotel in the heart of Hollywood, here’s our latest installment.

Let’s make a little Oscars magic at home…

All that glitters IS gold when you turn to wallpaper maven Maya Romanoff.

Do up your walls right with Maya Romanoff’s Bedazzled Geode wallpaper. Super reflective and fabulous!

Hickory Chair truly knows how to make an entrance!

Hickory Chair is always a stunner. Take their wonderful Collier dining table top, shown here in birch paint with an antique rub light gold striping. It’s like a little bit of the Vanity Fair party in your own home.

You'll bow down, bronze goddess, to the Donut table lamp from our pals at Mitchell Gold + Bob Williams.

Shine some light upon Mitchell Gold + Bob Williams’  sculptural Donut table lamp: We are koo-koo for the Elsa Peretti-style lines and cool good looks of this bright idea.

Baker Furniture's stunning Sunburst Mirror in gold. Why don't you come up and see me sometime?

And we are huge fans of the gold Sunburst Mirror from Baker Furniture. Classic, totally Hollywood, lots of sparkle. As John says, “Every room needs a fabulous mirror, and I love the silver screen siren call of this lovely looker.”


A Letter to Diana…

Saturday, February 26th, 2011

To our fabulous design guinea pig, Diana Parton:

Diana, we thank you for e-mailing us. We are literally smitten that you asked us to whip your great room into shape.

Here are our thoughts:

Sheer curtains from Target. Diffused light paired with Hollywood-style glamour, brilliant!

To prevent your fabrics from fading, why not cover your windows with sheer drapery panels. You can find these at Target, Ikea, etc. The panels will filter the light while allowing enough luminosity into the room without damaging your fabrics. Might we also suggest fabulous up-light floor lamps to brighten the corners of the room. And you could probably use a good, adjustable overhead light to brighten the work surface.

As for up-lighting, we are mad for the Beacon Floor Lamp from CB2–a great deal at $162.71 each.

The stunning Beacon Floor Lamp from CB2. A great price, and 150 watts of luminosity.

Shades of Light crafts a wonderful drum shade pendant.

When choosing overhead lighting, we suggest the fun Retro Flowers drum shade pendant from Shades of Light. Cool and colorful. $129, a deal.

True blue brilliance courtesy of Ikea.

For storage, choose IKEA’s Stuva storage combination ($110) or Pier 1′s Jolie 3-drawer storage unit (on sale for $99.99).

Pier 1's Jolie 3-drawer storage unit with fabulous woven banana-leaf baskets. Perfect for storage with style.


Thank you, Jesus!

Saturday, February 26th, 2011

We have a comment. Yes, a real comment. Do I see the Red Sea a-parting?

Finally, a comment! Hurrah! I feel like the Red Sea has parted or maybe Tonya Harding just skated by whilst yodeling. A Ms. Diana Parton has written in with a question about her sewing room.

Ms. Parton we will get back to you later today. Are you perchance related to Dolly Parton?

Here’s Ms. P’s terrific ask:

I am finding I do not have enough light in my sewing room and have been thinking I could move my sewing room to the great room (children are grown & I now longer use this room) to give me more light. My question is what can I use to protect my fabrics from getting faded by the sun? Being that I won’t be able to close the door to hide my “stuff” and lots of it, are thier storage units that are attractive that can be used to prevent the cluttered look?



OK, Bitches…

Friday, February 25th, 2011

Since you bitches cannot ask us a single design question, we are turning off and making Bloody Marys and watching bad TV, so there. We feel UNLOVED!

We have yet to receive a question or ANYTHING basically from anyone. I mean, John was named one of the country’s top 20 interior designers under 40 by House Beautiful magazine in 2000.

And you don’t have a single question for us?

I mean, what’s UP, folks???

We are thinking about shutting down the blog, you ungrateful blogeratti!

We are going to go make Bloody Marys and drown our interior design sorrows….



Burning Design Questions?

Friday, February 25th, 2011

Jason and John are just sitting around waiting for your design questions. Just look at us! We are bored. We want to help you out. If you hired us, this service would cost an arm and a leg, so here's your opportunity to get the goods for free! What are you waiting for?


Think of us as your one-stop design service. We want to answer your BURNING interior design questions…

And post them on Demystifying Design. And, best of all, our service is FREE!

FREE! Yes, free. Gratuit. Pas d’addition. GRATIS!

So put us to use…


-How can I arrange artwork on my living room wall?

-Help me take my dining room from boring to BRAVO!

-How can I create a spa-like bathroom?

Send us your queries, photos…

We are ready and willing to help you out!



Small Spaces, BIG Style

Thursday, February 24th, 2011

A tiny bedroom under the eaves maxes out its minimalist environs with clever uses of color.

John and I are crazy about decorating small spaces. There’s nothing more fun than taking a cozy cottage, for instance, and expanding its footprint with fabulous tricks of the trade. But how can YOU max out your own petite pad?

Man-of-the-moment John Loecke hits his local paint store to tackle yet another small space design challenge. And check out his cute gams!

In the current issue of Family Circle magazine, John offers loads of tips to take your space from small to sublime. Boring to bravo. Tiny to tip-top terrific!

For example:

For the kitchen… Loecke stocked the shelves with a hodgepodge of china, including flea market pieces. “You wouldn’t be drawn to the hutch or find it as interesting if the china were all white,” he says.

John takes a cozy kitchen to a color-rich capacity.

—A round table fits more easily in a tight space than a square or rectangular one and seats more people.

For more tips and suggestions, turn to the pages of Family Circle and tell the editors you want more, more of John Loecke in their publication. More, more, amour!



TV Land!

Wednesday, February 23rd, 2011

Jason makes love to the camera for EditorTV.

As we reported, last week Jason filmed a segment with the fab folks from EditorTV about the brand-new 1st Dibs@NYDC space, situated on the 10th floor of Manhattan’s New York Design Center. Jason chatted up favorite design aficionados including the always-fabulous Alexa Hampton, Veranda‘s Eugenia Santiesteban, Jason Contos of New York Spaces, and Darren Henault.

Here’s the result, click on the image above. And while he might not be quite ready for his own TV show, practice makes perfect, n’est-ce pas? Tell us what you think of the segment!



Tip-Top Tole!

Tuesday, February 22nd, 2011

Glorious tole sconces currently available on eBay. Look at those luscious grapes!

Tole? What the heck is that, you might be saying?

Well, add this to your interior design lexicon: “Tole” is enameled or lacquered metalware that is used to craft table lamps, chandeliers, trays, lampshades, etc. Now you know.

And, frankly, you can never have too much tole in your life, just as you can never have enough money or Hermes ties and Smythson of Bond Street notebooks in crazy-ass rainbow-hued colors and diamonds the size of the goddamn Ritz. To quote the sage Lily Allen: “I want to be rich and I want lots of money; I don’t care about clever, I don’t care about funny; I want loads of clothes and fuck loads of diamonds.”

And it’s also about fuck loads of tole. P.S. If you can’t handle our slightly stevedore-ish language, go browse the design tips at Nickelodeon. I’m kidding, natch. Watch for our next posting on pussy galore, the James Bond vixen. I am just saying.

INSIDER TIP: But not to fear if you can’t find fabulous vintage tole pieces in your local antiques store: Turn to eBay–they have everything from amazing plant-like table lamps to serving trays and gorgeous 70s-era chandeliers that look like bad-ass tulip plants that escaped from an insane asylum and sprouted lightbulbs.

One of our favorite tole treatments is to fill our Brooklyn home with tole plants.

A tole-and-plaster apple tree in our kitchen. Hello, little apple tree! Give up the goods!

Tole plants?

A petite tole grape plant that we have in our bedroom. It's all Bacchanalian and makes us want to do all sorts of dirty things that involve wine and wild abandon. Sign us up.

Yes, tole plants, doubting Thomases. They are fabulous and never need water and only the occasional dusting. They are especially wonderful in the winter when they give up fruit and blossoms when the rest of New York City is filthy and disgusting and muddy and anything but fecund. Fecund? Sounds like a dirty word, n’est-ce pas? But it’s not.



Call of the Wild!

Monday, February 21st, 2011

Gone but not forgotten: Gino's restaurant on NYC's Lexington Avenue. The restaurant might be closed, but its stunning Scalamandre wallpaper lives on!

Jason and John shed many a tear when the long-running Manhattan Italian restaurant Gino’s on Lexington Avenue closed last summer. We loved to dine at this throwback restaurant that opened in 1945 and changed next to nothing during its 60+-year run. The menu was limited, the service could be surly, but the experience was retro-rama at its finest. And we were crazy for the restaurant’s renowned scarlet-red Scalamandre wallpaper with its leaping zebras…

Gino’s may now be gone, but its wallpaper lives on…

P.S. Scalamandre’s timeless wallpaper has appeared not only in long-lost eateries but also in cult films including Wes Anderson’s fabulous The Royal Tenenbaums from 2001, available on Netflix… We are simply smitten with the Zebra wallpaper. It’s a classic.

Gwyneth Paltrow and Anjelica Huston and Scalamandre's Zebra wallpaper in the film The Royal Tenenbaums.

So if you want to create some throwback 1940s chic in your own home, it’s all about zebras cavorting hither and yon.

Sublime Zebra wallpaper from Scalamadre. It gives us scarlet fever.